Do you follow Yoga With Adriene?
I just did a video of hers. HOW did I do it amongst four children? Well I set them up with their lunch at the table outside, I rolled out my yoga mat inside and locked the screen door.. and just.did.it. They squabbled as siblings do. Fought over about 5 tiny pointless things. But I just got on with it. And feel better for it.
As a parent you cannot wait for the “right time” to do stuff for you; because that time won’t ever just magically materialise. YOU need to set it aside.
This is called self-care which is CRITICAL for sanity.
Self-care is important because you are actually more than “just a mother”. More than just a wife. You had an identity before your children and husband came into your world. Who was that woman? Do you remember? She had her own desires and dreams. She had her own likes and dislikes; not just those punctuated by the screaming intense demands of her children.
Make time every day to do something for you. In fact make time everyday to do MULTIPLE things for you.
Drink a cup of tea alone while the children play (aka fight) outside.
Do a 20 minute yoga video.
Have a shower alone with the door shut.
Order Indian takeaway after a rough week because dinner is just too fucking hard to accomplish and do NOT feel bad about it.
Brush your hair rather than just bunging it up into a rough bun without so much as a look in the mirror.
Mindfully pick out an outfit and putting on some jewellery you haven’t worn in a while.
Read a book whilst your children play at the park and you pretend they don’t exist for a short while.
Meet a friend for a cup of coffee on the weekend whilst the husband wrangles the smalls at home.
Get your hair done.
Run an “errand” and then include a half hour of reading your book in the car with the air conditioner on.
Go for a run early in the morning if that’s the only time you can manage time alone. Half an hour extra sleep really won’t make much that much of a difference and the run will make you feel substantially better. If you can’t run, walk.
Put a hippydippy CD full of affirmations on in the car and listen to it while your kids are screaming in the background; tune them out and tune into yourself. Breathe.
Pick some flowers and put them inside your house.
Do a HIIT video while the children eat breakfast/fight over which cup they want their fucking smoothies in.
Whatever. Find something for you. Refill your cup. Don’t say you’ll do it. Just do it. Let some stuff go and focus on your own needs.
You matter. Your children need a parent who role models self-care in this world. Trust me.